Everything's News
(Martyn Joseph)

Everything's news,
drink driving shame
Everything's news,
a toddler left lame
Everything's news,
the MP in bed
Everything's news,
with a mask on his head
Everything's news,
the most and the least
Everything's news,
Diana's on the piste
Everything's news,
a pensioner's blood
Everything's news,
hanging's too good
Everything's news,
we speak for us all
Everything's news,
with our lens on your wall
Everything's news,
we prowl and we slash
Everything's news,
we offer you cash
News without mercy, news beneath stones
News from the shadows on portable phones
And news on your doorstep having it's say
The truth as we know it is a headline away.

Everything's news,
the celibate priest
Everything's news,
evil sex beast
Everything's news,
we'll have to name names.
Everything's news,
reputations undone
Everything's news,
you've got nowhere to run
Everything's news,
your hot escapade
Everything's news,
we're a moral crusade

News without mercy, news beneath stones
News from the shadows on portable phones
And news on you doorstep having it's say
The truth as we know it is a headline away.

Everything's news,
the family in shock
Everything's news,
the star's in the dock
Everything's news,
leadership woes,
Everything's news,
the sucking of toes
Everything's news,
that private embrace
Everything's news,
in a far away place
Everything's news,
we know what you do
Everything's news,
because we do it too

News without mercy, news beneath stones
And news from the shadows on portable stones
News on your doorstep having it's say
The truth as we know it is a headline away

And news about honour, with banners unfurled
And interesting bits, from News of the World,
News from the front line with edited screams
And scratch card abundance and lottery dreams
Everything is news.